Check out dating“>Andy Stanley’s new book:
Andy offers a fresh new look at many of our cultural complications. I’ll highlight two:
1. Who is “old fashioned?” Culture stamps marriage (preserving sexual intimacy for a lifelong commitment) as outdated. But Stanley turns the tables and says if such a though is old fashioned, then current culture is absolutely ancient:
“I may be old-fashioned, but you predate old-fashioned by centuries. You’re ancient. You are so ancient you make my old-fashioned look space-age. Here’s why. In ancient times women were treated like commodities. In our vernacular the term commodity is used in economic or business contexts to describe an item with commercial value. Things such as real-estate, oil, gas, gold and silver. We place a value on these items and then use them however we want. There’s no personal or emotional attachment to a commodity. A commodity is an impersonal means to a personal end.” (Pg. 102)
He goes on to explain why both men and women are complicit in this line of thinking via the hook-up and porn culture. Modern sexuality has gone commercial, a mere commodity to be bought and sold.
2. Conversation. The ongoing call for the parent is to stop thinking in terms of having THE TALK. The sex talk. Instead of a 15 minute talk, think in terms of a 15 year conversation. This represents a critical shift. Whether we parent early, middle or late adolescent children, an ongoing conversation takes the burden and pressure off.