Three Pillars of Adulthood

The path to adult status is highly individual now and therefore, demands custom parenting. Most college and post-college students seem able to build one or two pillars but it’s a rare kid who can secure all three before age 30.

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Independence – Defined as the “final” time kids move out, need zero financial assistance and begin to flourish

Marriage – Those few who are able to navigate the bizarre dating scene and resist the flow of culture

Career – The challenge of aligning gifts, education and compensation in a satisfying niche.

If you have four children, statistics predict that only one will complete the pillars in their twenties. Parenting late adolescents therefore, takes on more significance than ever before. Most of us feel confused and trapped in constant tension- that place between what it was like when we grew up and what it is now.

You’re not alone.

Here’s a question I challenge you with:

When the future we’d envisioned for our kids doesn’t play out “correctly,” what happens to our faith?

This is where the tables turn. Where it becomes more about us than about….the kids. It’s a call to enter the deep mystery of God. Uncomfortable. Scary. Confusing. But only for a time….as long as it takes God to convert our focus from “kid drama” to Himself.

You’ll recognize parents who’ve been through this. They’re humble and okay with mystery, steady and persevering, quiet with no easy answers.

Check out Hagar- the Egyptian servant of Abraham and Sarah in Genesis 16 and 21. She’s desperate and without hope and now she has a child. At the point of utter desolation, she discovers two things about God:

God sees me….

God hears my child crying….


2 thoughts on “Three Pillars of Adulthood

  1. Kelly says:

    I know I could have used this class about 5 years ago! I’m sure it will be a help and encouragement to all who attend. Love your question… about what happens to our faith when life is not what we expected for our kids! They are in HIS hands as they always should have been but it becomes more a practical exercise and certainly a mental discipline to trust God with our adult kids. Thanks Don for your encouragement in this stage of life…

  2. “the fact that something is possible doesn’t make it a good idt2#&#82a1;Ie&.8217;s called being creative, you know, creating stuff for fun.You should try it and quit being so soulless, you never know, your life might improve.

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