Mothers & Sons

I received this amazing email from a mom the other day….

I am a mother of boys. As such I wrestle with questions unique to the mother-son dynamic. Why does everything he picks up turn into a gun? Is this “normal” male behavior? Will personal hygiene ever matter? But one question has haunted me ever since my firstborn was placed in my arms in the hospital. What does it look like for a mother to relate well with her son?

Relating is something that goes beyond getting my sons to obey. Obedience is important but relating well moves beyond that into how I, as a woman, can speak to their God-given male souls. Everything I read said this was father territory. I agree with the primacy of a father in making boys men, but did that leave me completely on the sidelines in this crucial endeavor? Wasn’t there some way I, as a woman, could participate in them becoming men?

This question has followed me for fourteen years. My search for answers began by looking for books.


Yes, there are a lot of books out there on boys. Some are worthwhile but none of them tackled the relational mother-son aspect.

Then, just a few weeks ago I heard about a new book by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs called, Mother and Son: The Respect Effect.  The author hits the mother-son relationship at the EXACT angle I have been looking for. It covers the nuances of how a mother relates to her son and how it can be done in a way to invite him in and improve the overall health of the relationship.  I love this book because it’s purpose is not to teach me how to make my boys “mind” or “behave” but what it looks like for me, as a woman, to truly influence them to become something I am not. To influence them to become men.

2 thoughts on “Mothers & Sons

  1. Hey, Don, can I steal this and post it on my blog? It’s wonderful and follows on a Thanksgiving with my exhausted DIL in our home wearily chasing two high-flying boys, ages 2 and 4, while our son worked on finishing up our basement bathroom. This topic is of much discussion in their home and church. I’d love to help promote this book.
    Shelly Beach

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