Three Pillars of Adulthood

The path to adult status is highly individual now and therefore, demands custom parenting. Most college and post-college students seem able to build one or two pillars but it’s a rare kid who can secure all three before age 30.

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Independence – Defined as the “final” time kids move out, need zero financial assistance and begin to flourish

Marriage – Those few who are able to navigate the bizarre dating scene and resist the flow of culture

Career – The challenge of aligning gifts, education and compensation in a satisfying niche.

If you have four children, statistics predict that only one will complete the pillars in their twenties. Parenting late adolescents therefore, takes on more significance than ever before. Most of us feel confused and trapped in constant tension- that place between what it was like when we grew up and what it is now.

You’re not alone.

Here’s a question I challenge you with:

When the future we’d envisioned for our kids doesn’t play out “correctly,” what happens to our faith?

This is where the tables turn. Where it becomes more about us than about….the kids. It’s a call to enter the deep mystery of God. Uncomfortable. Scary. Confusing. But only for a time….as long as it takes God to convert our focus from “kid drama” to Himself.

You’ll recognize parents who’ve been through this. They’re humble and okay with mystery, steady and persevering, quiet with no easy answers.

Check out Hagar- the Egyptian servant of Abraham and Sarah in Genesis 16 and 21. She’s desperate and without hope and now she has a child. At the point of utter desolation, she discovers two things about God:

God sees me….

God hears my child crying….


Cheat Sheet On Marriage

When “Marriage” hits the fan, as it appears scripted to do, when the U.S. Supreme Court hands down the decision in June or July, when the predictable reconfiguration occurs to adopt same-sex unions, you’re going to need a cheat sheet.

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The avalanche of data- historical, civil, judicial and practical definitions of marriage- seems to be exceeded only by the cultural forces against traditional marriage. Into this sophisticated mess, you better have your answer well-thought-out. Simple, short, powerful. Let me offer a sticky note, from which you can edit and create your own:

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P – Pleasure has been surgically removed from procreation and repackaged by itself. This has led to an endless drop-down menu of sexually deviant options. Once removed, pleasure has no generational future because it avoids procreation. Porn, masturbation, contraception, hook-up, abortion, same-sex. They all create a work-around to God’s original design.

2 – “God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:27). The intentional blurring of gender (male and female) has produced a wild menu of over 50 categories to choose from. But the beginning was very, very simple. It involved 2

P – Procreation is the inseparable result of a conjugal relationship between husband and wife, providing the future and structure of society and ensuring the stability of child-rearing.

Robby P. George says it this way:

Do you believe, as I believe, that the core social function of marriage is to unite a man and woman as husband and wife to be mother and father to children born of their union? Do you hold, as I hold, that the norms that shape marriage as a truly conjugal partnership are grounded in its procreative nature- its singular aptness for the project of child-rearing? Do you understand marriage as the uniquely comprehensive type of bond- comprehensive in that it unites spouses in a bodily way and not merely at the level of hearts and minds- that is oriented to and would naturally be fulfilled by their conceiving and rearing children together?

To think that we’ve arrived at a place of societal suspension, where we actually have to think through what marriage is, where we must define, defend and demand it, is almost in itself….unthinkable. But so it is.

What does your cheat sheet say?