Cheat Sheet On Marriage

When “Marriage” hits the fan, as it appears scripted to do, when the U.S. Supreme Court hands down the decision in June or July, when the predictable reconfiguration occurs to adopt same-sex unions, you’re going to need a cheat sheet.

Screen Shot 2015-05-19 at 8.30.00 AM

The avalanche of data- historical, civil, judicial and practical definitions of marriage- seems to be exceeded only by the cultural forces against traditional marriage. Into this sophisticated mess, you better have your answer well-thought-out. Simple, short, powerful. Let me offer a sticky note, from which you can edit and create your own:

Screen Shot 2015-05-19 at 8.33.10 AM

P – Pleasure has been surgically removed from procreation and repackaged by itself. This has led to an endless drop-down menu of sexually deviant options. Once removed, pleasure has no generational future because it avoids procreation. Porn, masturbation, contraception, hook-up, abortion, same-sex. They all create a work-around to God’s original design.

2 – “God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:27). The intentional blurring of gender (male and female) has produced a wild menu of over 50 categories to choose from. But the beginning was very, very simple. It involved 2

P – Procreation is the inseparable result of a conjugal relationship between husband and wife, providing the future and structure of society and ensuring the stability of child-rearing.

Robby P. George says it this way:

Do you believe, as I believe, that the core social function of marriage is to unite a man and woman as husband and wife to be mother and father to children born of their union? Do you hold, as I hold, that the norms that shape marriage as a truly conjugal partnership are grounded in its procreative nature- its singular aptness for the project of child-rearing? Do you understand marriage as the uniquely comprehensive type of bond- comprehensive in that it unites spouses in a bodily way and not merely at the level of hearts and minds- that is oriented to and would naturally be fulfilled by their conceiving and rearing children together?

To think that we’ve arrived at a place of societal suspension, where we actually have to think through what marriage is, where we must define, defend and demand it, is almost in itself….unthinkable. But so it is.

What does your cheat sheet say?


Talking With Kids About Deviant Sexual Categories

When asked about a particularly deviant practice in his time, Jesus responded with this.

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’  So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”  (Matthew 19:4-6)

As sexual deviance increases and new terms emerge, a simple diagram can help students see God as the original architect of sexual roles. Marriage is the centerpiece of God’s design and it maintains two components: 1) male/female and 2) pleasure/procreation. If either of these are separated, we are operating outside of God’s layout.



So grab a napkin at Starbucks or McDonalds and sketch this design. Then, think through where the following would be placed. What quadrant would they located in?

Pornography – Notice the world of pretend. It may involve male/female and it includes pleasure, but there is no possible procreation. It’s a pretend world.

Masturbation – Similar

Emotional Porn – Same pretend world

Gay – This separates both male from female and separates pleasure from procreation

Lesbian – Similar


The overarching question that needs to be repeated on a continuing basis is,

“does God have authority over my sexuality?”



‘Auto-Sympathy’- Our Kids n LGBT

A parent sent this in the other day. Notice the result of our kids growing up in a radically different culture than we did:

Our kids have grown up in the era of constant propaganda that’s very pro LGBT. We didn’t. What they feel, we don’t. What we feel, they don’t. The argument they always come with seems to be stemmed in a victim mentality, “they can’t help it – they’re born like that”. If you listen closely, our kids often echo the media’s mantra. They compare it to race, as though there is no choice or impulse involved. Where we automatically bristle at the idea of ‘no choice,’ kids are on auto-sympathy. So the direction of the conversation needs to be toward empowering and taking responsibility for behavior. We need to be careful not to shut down the conversation with hatred, but keep it going by having concern for those who’ve bought into a destructive lie, and sympathy for the damage it leaves behind.

All immorality eventually leads to destruction. No matter what our impulses are, we can choose to indulge them or not. What the media never shows about LGBT are all the injuries to the body, the long-term after effects of some of the practices, the rampant STDs and the unstable, painful relationships left in the wake. And you see all these things in heterosexual promiscuity as well. It’s important to talk about these in general terms to bring focus to God’s protection through the boundaries he asks us to live by.

‘Auto-Sympathy’ is a term to repeatedly re-insert into our brains until we get it. Our knee jerk reaction to the world is often a 180 from the way our kids view it.